When the ordeal was finally over, the poor guinea pig spent days cowering under the mess in the center of the floor, refusing to come out.
… and oh yeah, sometimes they would mix rat poison in with the leaf powder (just joking, DEA, you dumb fucks).
We would all like to think we would personally make great benevolent (or otherwise) dictators. But deep down inside, which human right would you be most tempted to strip away once you went mad with the sweet, sweet drug of power? I realize that everyone who knows anything about me has already guessed that […]
(You think I’m going to tell you which case I think I fit? Ha!)
I was already glum about the Charlie Hebdo anniversary when David Bowie became mortal. I’m American, but like all good Americans I remember why I’m no longer subject to the crown; no matter how many times our elder, shorter, Gallic brother gets in the quicksand, it’s our sacred duty to pull him out. French was […]
To the disappointment and/or indifference of nearly a hundred percent of the human race, I haven’t hung myself. I’ve merely been very busy reaping the reward of a youth pissed away in dedication to the literary arts: I’ve been studying night and day to pass the training exams at a corporate restaurant, where decisions regarding […]
OK, time for a direct quote from a student. I’m sick of protecting the guilty. And anyway, I’m not going to tell you this little fucktard’s name. Lucky him! Because here is a prime sample of the shit that lands in an average public-university TA’s e-mail every godforsaken day of the semester: Hello i am […]
OK, I’m glad the new president has kept his campaign promise to pronounce nuclear “nuclear” and fight for the little guy, or at least try, but I was sort of groaning during his State of the Union speech when he announced that part of what “fighting for the little guy” means is making sure all […]
OK, so here I am! Selling myself! First post! Go! OK! Shit, I should have picked a subject for this blog. I mean, a subject besides my books. I’ve only written two. That’s not a lot to talk about, particularly if you consider the spoiler-avoidance factor. When I was 31 or 32 and trying to […]