Then I remembered that the Nobel for literature is bullshit anyway.
When the ordeal was finally over, the poor guinea pig spent days cowering under the mess in the center of the floor, refusing to come out.
… and oh yeah, sometimes they would mix rat poison in with the leaf powder (just joking, DEA, you dumb fucks).
If the vote were restricted to people who didn’t act like farm animals I would almost find democracy tolerable.
We would all like to think we would personally make great benevolent (or otherwise) dictators. But deep down inside, which human right would you be most tempted to strip away once you went mad with the sweet, sweet drug of power? I realize that everyone who knows anything about me has already guessed that […]
What message would this send to Muslim extremists? That’s right: “We’re all totally on board with indiscriminately bombing the shit out of you.”
Dear my leftist friends: the people who are mad about Trump aren’t literally insane. They’re sick of getting taken advantage of from both sides.
If anyone at all was reading this blog, it has lain dormant due to Fate and teeth-kickings. I don’t suppose I believe in Fate, but if I did I would seriously suspect that She plans on using me to generate very dark and hopeless writings. Perhaps she wants all of humanity to finally wake up […]
Do ya FEEL it? I think, higher up, even they can hear it grind: it’s the wheel of history, crushing the peasants again. You whined and whined when it crushed your dreams, but the fun’s only beginning: wait ’til it crushes your bones! Ha ha! One likes to tell oneself that at least the wheel […]
PIRATES! (Slaps self in face, giggling hysterically.) FUCKING PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pompey Magnus told us TWO THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS AGO that he had this shit under control. Fucking politicians, man. Seriously, though, I can’t get over this pirate thing. I’m not so much taken aback by the fact that there are still pirates, but—to paraphrase They Might […]