We would all like to think we would personally make great benevolent (or otherwise) dictators. But deep down inside, which human right would you be most tempted to strip away once you went mad with the sweet, sweet drug of power?
I realize that everyone who knows anything about me has already guessed that my top mad-dictator human rights violation would be to take away your reproductive rights, which, as Alain Finkielkraut can tell you, are freakin’ stupid. But that’s where you’re wrong: I wouldn’t have to go mad to do that, silly. The minute I took power I would forcibly sterilize at least half of the population with a sound mind and a clear conscience, because look at you goddamn halfwits.
But if I went mad? Well, although I bill myself as a free speech extremist in theory, I can’t help thinking that once sanity and social sanction were slowly eroded by the bubble of yes-men and cupidity in which your average dictator dwells, I would order anyone caught lying to be beheaded.
Because I HATE LIARS. I think it’s one of the worst burdens of being human: life is short enough to begin with, and then you end up wasting your time parsing people’s manipulations and lies. I would put an end to it through sheer terror and bloodshed. As dictator, I would allow an unusual amount of free speech—almost as much as a democracy. But the minute somebody proved you were lying, well… (draws finger across throat)…
How about you? Which stupid human right does your shadow personality insist needs to be rescinded? Comment ‘n’ share! :)
And here’s some food for thought: if enough people post their own dictatorial fantasies in the comment section, I will compile them into a polldaddy poll and invite the readers to elect a dictator of the comments section. Your mad fantasy will serve as your campaign platform. Good luck, comrades!
