Still Alive

To the disappointment and/or indifference of nearly a hundred percent of the human race, I haven’t hung myself. I’ve merely been very busy reaping the reward of a youth pissed away in dedication to the literary arts: I’ve been studying night and day to pass the training exams at a corporate restaurant, where decisions regarding …

Pirates?

PIRATES! (Slaps self in face, giggling hysterically.) FUCKING PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pompey Magnus told us TWO THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS AGO that he had this shit under control. Fucking politicians, man. Seriously, though, I can’t get over this pirate thing. I’m not so much taken aback by the fact that there are still pirates, but—to paraphrase They Might …

NPR vs. Ann Sterzinger

I promised, and I deliver, which would be much more exciting if anyone cared, but at any rate here’s my short but sweet e-mail friendship with an NPR employee who I would bet money was named after Alan Alda. Attn: book reviewers: John Kennedy Toole reincarnate… briefly Now, we all might intuit that the parlor …